1. Be ye ownin' any of these?
- Cutlass (5 pts)
- Cool pirate hat (5 pts)
- Telescope (4 pts)
- Ship (5 pts)
- Flag with skull and crossbones (5 pts)
- Peg leg (5 pts)
- Glass eye (5 pts)
- Eye patch (5 pts)
- One o'those airline eye covers - it be almost an eye patch! (1 pt)
2. Be ye ownin' a pet bird?
- Yes (1 pt fer each bird)
- No (0 pts)
3. Be it a parrot?
(4 extra points fer each parrot)
4. What be yer favourite drink?
- Rum! Yo ho ho. (5 pts)
- Grog o'any kind (4 pts)
- Fruit juice - t'vitamins protect ye from scurvy (1 pt)
5. Do ye know how ter swim?
- Yes (3 pts)
- No (-3 pts how can yer sail t'high high seas??)*
6. How do ye laugh?
- Yo ho ho! (5 pts)
- Ho ho ho (4 pts)
- Heh heh heh (3 pts)
- Ha ha ha (1 pt)
- Hee hee hee (-3 pts - that be most un-pirate laughter)
7. If ye be startled or a-frightened, what do ye say?
- Shiver me timbers! (5 pts)
- Arrrrr! (5 pts)
- Ahhh! (2 pts - 'tis almost "arrr")
- Oh no (-3 pts - pirates jus' don't be sayin' things like that!)
8. Which o'these be yer favourite way ter spend an afternoon?
(Pick t'closest one)
- Watchin' a pirate movie (3 pts)
- Readin' a pirate book (3 pts)
- Pillagin' and plunderin' (5 pts)
- Practisin' my cutlass fightin' (4 pts)
9. And last o'all...do ye talk like a Pirate on The Day?
- Aye aye cap'n! (20 pts)
- Aye, a bit (15 pts)
- Aye, a very little bit (10 pts)
- Nay (-10 pts - that be a disgrace!)
Now add 'em up! (And if yer be makin' a mistake in the addition,
you be losin' 10 pts. Pirates be good at addin', they get practice from countin' the booty.)
50 and above: Cap'n - Arrrr! I don't
be needin' ter say that yer a pirate, ye already know! You be the grand terror o'the Carribean, the Pacific, t'high high seas,
or wherever yer like ter go sailin'.
35 - 49: Firs' Mate - Yer certainly be a pirate,
but perhaps yer need a bit more o'the booty! (Peg legs be goin' cheap at the Salvation Army, if yer not in the mood fer plunderin').
Or perhaps it be sufficient for ye ter be a Pirate in Spirit.
25 - 34: Boatswain - Ye be a sort of Part
Time Pirate. Perhaps ye were a pirate in yer youth but be retired now, or perhaps ye've spent too much time drinkin' rum ter
get round to Plunderin'.
15 - 24: Deck Scrubber - Yer be havin'
some repressed Piratin tendencies. That be a pity, it be a fine life, t'pirate life! We be suggestin' that ye see a Pirate
psychiatrist, ter help ye free yer Inner Pirate.
Under 15: Land lubber - Yer scurvy ridden
land lubber! Ye be a disgrace to the name o'Pirate. We'll be makin' ye walk t'plank if yer not careful. Out, ye scurvy dog!!
*Cap'n Llewellyn o'the stinkin' ship Kambala be makin' some scurvy whinin' sounds...
"I been readin your quiz, 'Be Ye a Pirate'. You give more points for bein able ta swim than for not. Surprisingly, in the
time o pirates (1600-1700s) sailors were a superstitious lot and it was thought bad luck to have someone aboard who could
swim. Temptin' fate, like, that they would come to need their skill at some point. Sailors hated the water without they had
a bark to sail in. Arr harr.
Now I be correctin yr web page. Arr harrrrrrrrrrr."
Be that as it may, I be a pirate and there be no place fer pedantry
on me ship. Llwellyn be currently chained up ter the waist in t'most stinkin', festering bilgewater on me ship. Arr HARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!